Get Out of My House
by niki uchiha
Summary: Greece's house is a very popular vacation spot. One of his frequent guests causes his trouble time and time again. This time Greece has had enough. Contains failed attempts at sex, greek curse words and a spceical appearance from SexyWaiter!England.


Heracles was sitting in his kitchen watching the news. It was the furthest away from one of his occupied guest rooms. It was the middle of July, meaning that many of the other nations would be visiting for vacation. He enjoyed their company; they were lively and interesting. He loved discussing politics and philosophy with his guests. When they were younger they would go out and party every night, but now he is getting old for a nation. To non-nations 26 is not even close to old, but for a nation he might as well be a retired old man.

The other nations too are losing their "wild things", but still know have to have fun. Even though they were no longer clubbing until 4 in the morning, they would still go out drinking at a café/bar. Heracles was always had trouble with rowdy tourists, but he couldn't do anything about it. Most of his trouble came from the "refined gentleman" known as Arthur Kirkland. Sometimes Heracles just wanted to kick him off a cliff like a rejected Spartan baby.

An image appeared on the screen that almost made Heracles spit out his coffee. There he was. Naked, with only a frilly maid apron. England was wasted and made his way on the news.

"This man you see is none other than Arthur Kirkland, England, doing what all British tourists do, get drunk and make fools of themselves."

"Are they talking about Alfred?" said a voice from begin that surprised Heracles, he wasn't expecting England to be awake so early, then again, he is Arthur. Apparently he walked in to only have heard the latter half of the sentence.

"No. Look at the screen," said Herakles nonchalantly, acting as if this was perfectly normal.

"If it's not Alfred then who—BLOODY HELL!" Arthur almost fainted at the sight. Heracles caught him before he fell. "Did that really happen? How?"

"The same way it happens every time, you got drunk," Heracles signed. _This man will never learn, just like Zeus._

"I have disrespected myself as a gentleman, I'm sorry. I swear a royal oath to never act like this again," said Arthur, straightening himself and placing his hand on his heart.

Heracles sighed, "Okay, now be a good tourist a boost my economy."

Arthur left the house holding his head; he was still hungover from the night before. He wouldn't drink Heracles' coffee because he accidentally chugged it after a terrible hangover and his brain almost exploded. Heracles had another sip of coffee. _I think this is his 358__th__ oath for better behavior. _

"You know, you look oddly familiar? Are you an actor?" asked the waitress. Heracles decided to take Arthur to Rio. After the building of the Rio-Antirio Bridge, cafés and clubs were opened along the once very busy port. Heracles wasn't complaining because these places were awesome. Arthur seemed to be enjoying himself.

"No, you must have me confused," Heracles never saw a point in revealing his identity. He got laid either way.

"Isn't your buddy over there that Kirkland guy who was on the news," she said raising an eyebrow.

"Gamo to." Heracles blushed. Arthur gave him away.

"I knew I saw you somewhere before, you're Heracles Karpusi! Are you really Hellas?"

"You can say that, but I prefer being Heracles, being a nation is so tiring." Heracles wasn't complaining, everything is tiring for him.

"It must be tough dealing with him," she said pointing at Arthur.

"Yeah he a bit of a giadouros—"

"What did you call me you wanker?!" yelled a drunk Arthur. He went right into Heracles' face poking his forehead. "Did you call me a gay dude?"

"No, I called you a jackass. Now I think it is time to go home. Let's go Kirio Kirkland."

"What's with the formal-formalitatis-formalal—?"

"Arthur. Now." Heracles didn't want to lose his cool. He's been controlling his temper with Arthur all these years, now was not the time.

They entered the house. Well Heracles did, Arthur barely made it to the door.

"I can carry myself. I AM ENGLAND!" he yelled lifting his arms, "WOOOOOO! God save the Queen~~"

Heracles dropped Arthur on the couch. "Arthur, what happened to your oath?"

"Oath? I never make any oath with you bl-bloody wankeeeer!" Arthur was already slurring his words, he only has three drinks. "I'm a pirate!" He tried to hit Heracles with an imaginary sword.

"Re, what are you doing?" Heracles knew Arthur had many imaginary friends, but this was a new level of delusion.

"You fiend! I have ruined my honor with the fair lady at the club," said Arthur pointing his imaginary sword at Heracles.

"Umm, right."

"I'll never get laid! Francis was right!" cried Arthur. Heracles was surprised by Arthur's change of emotions, then again, he was drunk. "The only person here is you…"

"No."

"Yeeeeeessssss! It's brilliant!"

"No." As much as Heracles loved sex, he heard horrible stories from Francis, he didn't want to take any chances. Arthur was displeased by his answer. He attempted to get up. But fell down on his knees. This gave him a horrible idea. He started to unbutton Heracles jeans when he felt a palm collide with his face.

"Asto dialo! Arthur get up and get out!" Heracles yelled. He finally lost it. "Arthur, you are the very definition of the word 'malaka'. You're the one who's a wanker. Now get you skata and leave!

"Chill, Heracles, I was just fooling around, like that git Francis," Arthur pleaded, "Don't kick me out, my vacation isn't over."

"I've invaded you before haven't I?

"No, you stole some of my cats! So get out my house you drunk kleptomaniac!" Heracles thought to himself how nice it was that the coolest English words were of Greek origin. An obsessive thief, that's what Arthur really was. "You stole half of my mother's things from my house. Unless you want to be banned from my house, sober up and return my stuff."

Heracles gathered all of his former strength and threw Arthur out the door.

"What about my stuff—" His suitcase soon followed.

"Here's some cash, get on a plane and leave.

"Did you know that you're my favorite guest?" Heracles looked at his brother. "You're so quiet, it's peaceful." Heracles was sitting on the beach with Gupta drinking lemonade. Gupta looked over and slightly raised the corner of his mouth to a very small smile.

A/N: In case you didn't know England has some of the rowdiest tourists which is why this might seem OOC. It was based off a where Poland and Greece try to think of ways to get England to stay away from their homes. I also know this from personal experience *flashbacks of white blond guys dancing on speakers waving their shirts around*. They brought over swine flu as well. I hope I didn't offend any English people I apologize if I did.


End file.
